Paying for my stupidity one knee at a time.

More painful than tax day…guaranteed.

Is there anything more brainless than a testosterone driven 16-year-old male?  In my case, no.

This April 14, I will undergo right knee replacement surgery largely due to one Bonehead Moment in 1966.  In some ways it seems like yesterday.  This year will be the 50^th Anniversary of my Bonehead Moment, so it’s even more fitting.

Here’s my Bonehead Moment:

My Honda 160 Scrambler

It was a warm summer day. I can’t remember the exact date.  David Bickmore (my frequent partner in crime) and I were in front of his house, messing around on my motorcycle, a Honda 160 Scrambler, which was the 60’s version of an off-road bike. Translation: messing around means having too much time on our hands, which spells trouble.

 

Here’s the Bonehead part: the throttle cable, which hooks into the twist grip on the right handlebar, had broken.  It was just hanging loose unconnected, so to rev the engine, you had to pull on the cable with a pair of plyers.  That would have been enough for anyone of average intelligence to put the bike away and get it repaired before driving it one foot.

   

Not this 16-year-old testosterone-soaked idiot.  I figured I could drive it home with a pair of plyers in one hand and steer with my left hand on the handlebars.  But there’s more.  I also figured that before I drove home, I would go over the homemade jump that David and I rigged up on the street in front of his house.   It was very highly engineered....a ramp made of plywood with one end on a cinderblock. 

Evel Knievel used better judgement

With Evel Knievel in my head (and not much else) I took a run at the jump.  Predictably, the motorcycle went up the jump, the piece of wood teeter-tottered and I came down on the other side front wheel first.  Also predictably, with only one hand on the handlebars, I lost total control of the bike and crashed, jamming my straight right leg into the pavement, and ripping my knee to shreds.  

My 1966 Surgeon

I was sure I had broken my leg…which in the long run would have been better.  I succeeded in tearing my ACL and MCL, requiring major surgery, which in 1966 was performed with a chainsaw rather than an arthroscope.

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That little episode effectively ended my high school athletic career (and motorcycle jumping), requiring a good two years to rehab.  However, the knee held up pretty well until the last few years.  

Dr. Thomas Rosenberg 

Now 50 years later, it needs replacing, so on April 14, I’ll be in the Park City Hospital as Dr. Thomas Rosenberg attempts to repair the damage caused by my Bonehead Moment of 1966.   Any pain coming my way is entirely deserved and expected.

 

 I also expect that I’ll survive and do well in the long run.  He’s an excellent surgeon and I’m no stranger to physical therapy and rehab.   Dr. Rosenberg says that in terms of pain in my knee, it will be at least a year before I forget that I’ve had the surgery.  In this case, I think he’s wrong.  This surgery was 50 years in the making.  While the pain may subside, the memory of it will likely be with me for my remaining days.